Keeping Warm
by just-an-artist-pl
Summary: After a car accident and three weeks in coma Kurt finally woke up but his life changed drastically. Not able to walk anymore he lost the will to live and showed his frustration to anything and anybody. At home and at the hospital refusing to talk and hating his physical therapy. But then he meets a boy with a guitar and his frustration grows even more.
1. Chapter 1

This idea came to my mind while listening to the song 'Keeping Warm' by We Were Promised Jetpacks.

* * *

Part 1

White walls, big white walls was everything that surrounded Kurt Hummel. If he could he would have left the room and the bed. But he couldn't. He couldn't for three months now and it all began with a car accident. He never understood how he agreed to this, staying in a hospital because he hated hospitals. Really, they were those places he never wanted to visit ever again. Far too many memories were connected to this place. Memories he could handle now but didn't like at all.

It was too quiet, too cold and the smell was making him sick. The doctors were making him sick with all their words and explanations and the worried looks of his friends and family made him sick too. He didn't want them to be worried and he for sure didn't need any pity.

Kurt got simply tired of it all. Really tired. Especially the false hope they gave him the 'maybe' or the – there is a high possibility you'll walk again. It hurt more than the raw truth. If he couldn't walk ever again they should spill it and not teat him like a small silly boy. He was not small or a young boy. He even understood what it meant when his mother died – at the age of 8. He understood why people bullied him, why they judged him. He understood far more than people gave him credit for. Sometimes it was a good thing when others didn't know what he was capable of. But under these circumstances? It was just frustrating. So frustrating that when he spent his in the hospital – like every second week since the accident for his physical therapy – he snapped at the nurse feeling guilty but more frustrated.

"I'm not hungry!"

"But you have to eat something. It will help you to get the strength you need for-"

"I don't care about the fucking therapy!"

It had been like this for a month now. He was almost considered as someone famous in the hospital. Whenever a new nurse came into his room he could see the slight fear in her eyes, hoe she straightened her back and pretended to not be worried or insecure. And Kurt saw right through it. Being home he pretended to be okay just s his dad wouldn't wear this guilt and sadness on his face.

Because Burt Hummel blamed himself for what happened to his son. Which was not true because Kurt insisted to get the car for school.

He had been running late and didn't want to bother his dad who needed to rest. The old worry in his heart about losing his father never left him. Not even a year later. He almost laughed when he thought about that and the result; Giving his father the worst time and worry of his life. A time Kurt knew way too well because he went through the same. Right after the accident he was in a coma for three weeks. The constant question if he would ever wake up again, the constant worry, the countless tears his father had cried? Kurt knew that all. Now it was him lying in a hospital with legs that won't move. He couldn't even feel them anymore.

And this was the worst thing in this whole situation. Oh, and the wheelchair. His new BFF. Once in Glee Club they all tried this out and even then Kurt realized how he felt sorry for all the people. Especially Artie who would never leave his wheelchair again Kurt could, they said, but he didn't want the pity and sad looks. He didn't want to roll around Lima and exactly get that from the people. He wasn't even sure if he wanted to walk again or not because the therapy wasn't working. Patience, they said, patience, but he only became angry and frustrated. Usually he fought but he was scared to try and know for 100% that he would never walk again.

But he needed to, he wanted to go to New York, he wanted to study and dance and see so many things. The desperation made him sad and though he didn't like to cry when he fell asleep, safe and alone in his own space, his privacy he couldn't stop the tears from falling.

* * *

Yes, Kurt didn't like the wheelchair but he figured out that it was not the same when he used it in the hospital. And staying in bed made him just more upset and he couldn't stand the white walls. He almost felt claustrophobic. Leaning over, happy that he could move his arms and upper body he reached out for the wheelchair but knew, alone, it was almost impossible to get in their.

Unlike Artie his arms weren't this strong yet to held himself up and climb on his own into the chair. His body in general was not as strong as it used to be from all the time doing nothing. He pressed the button and soon a nurse walked inside his room, helping him into the chair. Murmuring a thank you she left, knowing it better after all the time Kurt told them to go. Seeing the look on their faces was nothing he needed after someone needed to help him in such a simple way. Like when a baby fell when taking the first steps. He was no baby and didn't want to feel like one.

It was just that everything seemed so small sitting on this chair and needed to look up instead of looking straight forward or down. He felt small and weak and vulnerable. Even when he took the elevator and wanted to press a button it took more than just move his hand and press his finger against it. He needed to held himself up sometimes with one hand and stretch the other arm out. It wasn't as humiliating as anything else.

Outside he was glad that he at least could be here and enjoy the air and September sun. As much as he could enjoy. But he could with a book in his lap and no one asking him what was wrong because he wasn't the only one in a wheelchair here and some got it even harder than he did.

An hour later he rolled back into the hospital for his physical therapy.

His therapist, Jimmy, always smiled when he saw Kurt and never, never gave him an angry look or anything that told Kurt he wasn't welcomed. In fact Jimmy always was so positive and motivating the people. It wasn't working for Kurt but he did what Jimmy told him.

First Jimmy helped him out of his chair and lay him down on a mattress so he could bend his legs and move his muscles. Kurt shook his head or nodded when Jimmy asked him something. Any time when he fantasized about having a guy over him or being close to him he never fantasized about this situation. He dreamed about what it would feel like to be finally kissed, for real. To hold someone's hand he loved and to have someone close in not a friend way but something more. He wanted to enjoy this and dream a little when he began his therapy with a good looking guy. Though he stopped soon being unsure if his lower body part would react or not – luckily this part was working thought Kurt – and soon his frustration was controlling his mind and body.

Their only conversation was between what they would do next and if Kurt was okay or not and he was glad about that. Jimmy understood that Kurt didn't want to talk about his handicap or about things that could happen or not. He knew Kurt didn't want any false hope. Of course motivating Kurt was a part of this whole therapy but he told Jimmy that he really didn't want to yell at him or anything if he did that. So Jimmy didn't. He also didn't force Kurt to anything. The bending and stretching his legs was usually enough, but sometimes Kurt agreed on trying the bars out. Two wooden bars parallel to each other and a mat between it. The first week his arms were too weak to hold him up and he soon felt, again, small and weak and didn't want anyone to see him like this.

After his physical therapy he usually rolled back to his room watching TV or texting with his friends. His dad visited him every evening just to be sure his son was doing okay. Or to make sure he was still alive, just like Kurt once did.

He made it his mission to not worry his dad and pretend that he was fine even if he was not.

"Hey Kurt," smiled his father as he walked into his room.

"Hey dad," greeted Kurt in return and saw the small plastic bag in his fathers hand.

"Dad, seriously? I told you no fast food."

"It's for you, kid. I know you'll bite my head off if I try that."

Nodding and keeping his chin up they both grinned. Yes, this was good, thought Kurt. It was better than seeing someone worried sick and his dad knew better than anyone that he didn't like that.

"I bought you cheesecake."

"Cheesecake!" Kurt almost cried out and this made his father laugh. Taking the chair he placed it closer to Kurt's bed and handed him the small back with a plastic box. Eagerly he opened it and took the fork, wrapped up in a napkin and began to eat. Humming how delicious it tasted – seriously this hospital food was okay but this was perfect.

"How is it going?"

"Okay, I guess," said Kurt not wanting to lie and even if he tried his dad would see right through it. Yet he didn't want this evening to turn into on of those when his dad apologized with watery eyes. It had been like this in the first weeks after he woke up but Burt quickly understood that Kurt didn't need that. He needed a father who wouldn't treat him differently. Who would treat him like he did before the accident.

"I thought about going somewhere over the weekend when you'll be back home."

"Yeah? And where?"

"I don't know yet but somewhere outside from Lima."

A small smile stretched over his lips and he really liked this idea but he really didn't want to sit in this wheelchair and feel so terribly small and weak around people. Once he even considered to call Artie and ask him how he managed to still look like he was bigger than anyone. However, he wasn't ready to admit how he really felt about his current situation. Not to himself or to anyone else.

"I'll think about it, okay?"

"Of course," Burt smiled nevertheless.

They talked about Carole and Finn and about work. School was also a topic they talked about. One of the topics Kurt really didn't like to discuss. He graduated, yes, but he wasn't ready to talk about his future yet. New York was more far away than before and he had no idea if he ever could get there. Instead of NYADA he could study fashion design, yes, but it was his plan B and not A. He also avoided the topic friends because many of them were leaving Lima and exactly going to wherever they wanted to go. New York, L.A., and study. It was hard to text them, hear about their amazing time at college and it was hard to see those who were left here.

Everything just seemed so unfair but he didn't say a word about that.

* * *

Friday came quickly and he couldn't wait to get out of this hospital and back home. Back into his room and read the new Vogue magazine, lay in his bed and listen to his music. He was even looking forward to sit in the kitchen and talk with Carole who did an amazing job like his father. Treating him like a normal person.

His physical therapy ended around 12pm and instead of going back into his room he explored the hospital. Not that he was interested in it but he wanted to know if there were places he could visit when he came back. Places when it was too could outside or raining like crazy. He rolled to the cafeteria with his wheelchair. It was a nice cafeteria with many chairs, many spots for people like Kurt and with no white walls. They were orange, more pleasing and he let himself enjoy some coffee before he explored some more.

He still had five hours to kill before his dad would come back and take him home. But there was nothing interesting. Not really. Everything was just as boring and sick making as his own room. Then, though, he found himself in a part of the hospital different from the others. It was more colorful, louder and he even heard music. Probably the children's ward.

Kurt wasn't paying much attention to the music but the closer he came to a closed door he figured that it was no music coming from a speaker. It was live music, someone was playing a guitar and singing. Singing with a gorgeous voice. Smooth, deep, but happy. A simple voice, a simple song but the sound, the emotions... Kurt hadn't heard something like this in a while. Music had always been a part of his life and since he graduated and Glee Club was over it felt really good, really good to hear a live perfomance.

Rolling closer on his wheelchair he heard several children singing and clapping, singing together with a guys a familiar Disney song. It took him some seconds to figure out what song it was and he smiled when memories of his days as a child came back. It was a song from Aladdin, Friend Like Me, and when he arrived at the door he only saw a little bit of the happening there. Huffing and hating how small he was because he had to sit he needed to take a hold on the bar under the window. Holding himself up he could finally look inside and saw several children. Some with blank heads, some with bandages, some with faces that weren't labeled as normal. But they were all laughing, clapping and singing with the boy, sitting in a circle on the floor.

The boy though caught all of Kurt's attention. Curly hair, big hazel eyes and playing the guitar like he never did anything else in his life. He didn't look like he belonged there because he seemed fine but his smile and those from the children were equally radiant. Something else, something that made this hospital life better. Their voices were muffled through the glass and closed door but he could still make out how amazing the strangers voice was.

Eyes fixed on him he watched the gorgeous face, watched the eyes sparkling with honest happiness and the longer he watched him the more he saw how cute this boy was. Not only cute, more, he was so much more. A dork, too, as far as Kurt could tell.

When the song came to its end they all clapped and giggled, one of the children hugged the boy how returned the hug, grinning wider than before. Kurt was mesmerized about the way the stranger acted around the children. Usually it made people sad seeing a child with cancer or any other illness. Usually people couldn't act like they were 'normal' children around them. The boy, though, he did exactly that. Talking and touching them like normal children and not like they were something fragile, not like they could break into a million pieces with a simple hug.

And for a second Kurt imagined spending time with this boy and get some life into his own. Because that was what he missed the most. People talking and treating him like a normal person and not like someone who needed help, like someone who couldn't do things on his own. But it was almost like fate heard his plea and gave him a reminder that his life would never be normal again. His arms began to shake and he couldn't hold himself up anymore. They gave in and instead of falling back into the wheelchair he fell out of it, meeting the hard cold ground.

He heard gasps while he waited for the pain to go away and when he tried to move his legs the frustration he had been feeling for so long came back with full force. He rolled on his back, noticing the wheelchair right next to him and reached out for it, wanting to do this on his own. But he knew, he just knew it was pointless. His body was not strong enough for this, not yet, maybe not ever.

A nurse came and helped him, a small nurse not strong enough to this on her own and instead of snapping he let her help him. Avoiding to feel humiliated was his priority right now. Then there was another pair of hands, stronger, holding him firm and up so that he was soon sitting in his wheelchair. Breathing in and out, waiting for the red color on his face to go away he only looked up when the voice spoke to him. The voice he heard singing some minutes ago.

"Are you okay?"

Moving his hand from his face he dared to look up but the face was not above him, it was right in front him, making him feel something else than small and vulnerable. This made him feel almost equal but as soon as he felt his legs won't move, won't do anything he couldn't stand looking at this beautiful, so beautiful boy anymore.

His hands on the wheels he turned around and rolled away, a bit to fast but he needed to be alone now and forget all of this. Forget this terrible feeling. Forget the humiliation he had to deal with for weeks now.


	2. Chapter 2

I just wanted to tell you guys this. This fic is something I write when I can't write on 'Two Coins' or 'Promise me we'll be alright' (bc those are the fics i want to finish first before I write other fics). So it might take some time before I update this fic (like School, Homework, Life and Love With you). Still, I hope you enjoy this chapter :)

* * *

Part 2.

He rolled so fast that his hands hurt when he finally arrived at his room. And he knew they only hurt because he was not used to this. Just another indicator how much he hated his current situation. But it was also the last thing he could really think about. All he wanted was to forget what had happened some minutes ago and sleep until his dad came to pick him up and go whoever he wanted to take Kurt.

Pressing the button at his bed the nurse came and helped him into his bed. He saw it in her face, how she waited for him to snap at her but he was not in the mood to do that. Kurt just waited for her to leave so he could hide himself under the blanket and forget the humiliation. Forget the feeling that was bubbling inside him.

* * *

The next day when he woke up Kurt found himself in his own bed and sighed with relief. He really needed some space between him and this stupid hospital. Usually his Dad's efforts to distract him and make his life a little less sad didn't work. That weekend though it worked because Kurt needed any kind of distraction. Like promised his Dad drove them to Columbus and just enjoyed the city.

There was really a difference between sitting in a wheelchair and face people he knew in Lima and doing the same in Columbus and know no one.

Of course people gave him looks but they were only looks and not someone asking what happened or treating him like a child. He bought some new clothes which was weird because he tried to move and look into the mirror to see how those pants looked like. But he couldn't so he just went with the color and acted like it did nothing to him.

After that they went to a nice restaurant to have lunch and finally talk about the past week. Kurt avoiding that he had seen the most beautiful boy ever. A boy who was probably straight, probably had girlfriend and had already forgotten him, considering his luck.

So he asked about something he used to avoid too.

"Did you hear anything from my friends?"

Burt stopped his fork right before his open mouth and stared at his son. Kurt stared back, almost deadpan.

"Well, I only know about Rachel and Santana being in New York and Mercedes in L.A."

Burt waited again, waited for something coming from Kurt that told him to stop, but Kurt didn't move. No, he was actually listening and even a bit curious.

"They called me some days ago asking how you've been doing since you ignore their calls."

And that he did only because it hurt too much to hear about their literally moving life while his was defined by regular visits with his therapist and the white room he almost considered his second home. With a lot of sarcasm.

"That's good."  
"Something happened? Or where does this interest about your friends comes from?"

Oh he knew the answer but he was not going to tell his Dad about a boy he didn't even know. This was the first step to a new drama story in his life and he was really, really tired of the drama.

"Just curious, I guess."

"You know you can't fool me."

Kurt sighed and decided to tell him the truth. Well one of the truths he had been caring around since he woke up from the coma. But... it was not really the truth only him trying to be realistic and avoid to get hurt by his own thoughts.

"I just... try to accept everything and move on."

"Accept what?"

"That I won't be able to walk again."

Burt put his fork down and Kurt saw the deep frown on his father's face. Oh he knew that face, he knew it way too well and forced his eyes to stay still and not role like he always used to when his Dad gave him a lesson.

"With this attitude? No."

"So... better get used to this."

Burt huffed a laugh, a desperate one and folded his hands.

"You can't be serious, Kurt. The doctor said there is a chance you will walk again. You just have to practice and be patient."

Now it was Kurt who huffed a laugh and finally rolled his eyes. He knew his Dad was only worried and tried to cheer him up. After all, Kurt never gave up this easily but his legs were important. Without them he couldn't dance, or perform. His actions where all limited and everything that was left were his hands. At least he could use his hands.

"I've been trying, Dad. But I feel nothing, okay? I just feel nothing."

"That's why I think it would be better for you to stay in the hospital for more than just every second week."

"What!?" Kurt exclaimed and almost knocked his glass over. No, his Dad was not serious about that. Not his Dad. Burt never forced Kurt to do something.

"I think it's the best for you and your therapy. Constant practice will help you to walk again."

He tried to stay calm, he tried not to scream but his Dad made him so angry that it was hard to swallow it down. The angry tears didn't make it any better because he didn't want to cry in public.

"I hate it there, you know I do. I almost feel claustrophobic with these empty walls and the smell."

"I understand, kiddo," sighed Burt and gave him a concern look: "But I really think you should... at least try."

Kurt shook his head again and then his father pulled a card that was just plain unfair.

"Remember when I had my heart attack?"

"Dad-"

"Remember how you never gave up on me? Though it was hard?"

Kurt did remember but he kept his mouth closed before he said that his situation was totally different. For his father it probably wasn't.

"And I won't give up on you. They said it's possible and I know you are a fighter."

Kurt said nothing.

"I just... I want you to live your dream. I want to see you walking through New York where you belong and I know, this, will never make you happy. And I wish you would at least try it. Not for days or weeks but for longer. I get it, it's frustrating but I know you can do it."

"Okay," said Kurt because he knew how stubborn his father could be. He was just as stubborn. However, not hurting his father and take some of the burden off of him was stronger than his own pride. He saw it but never mentioned that he noticed the guilt in his father's eyes. The guilt that was really not necessary.

* * *

On Monday it was Carole who drove him back to the hospital and stayed with him for another hour. She, at least, didn't push him or asked him about the therapy. She bought him the Vogue so he had something to read and also books because he usually stayed in his room. Around 1pm he had his physical therapy and was greeted, like always, with Jimmy's enthusiastic smile.

He helped Kurt out of the wheelchair and they started with the bending and moving of his muscles. Trying to get any kind of reaction out of his numb legs. But nothing worked and Kurt didn't expect anything else. Every question was answered with a nod or a shake of his head but Jimmy kept on smiling. His positive attitude was a good thing but also annoying. The good thing was Kurt saw no pity in his eyes. The bad thing? He wished he could be as positive as Jimmy. Even if his legs would never move again.

The first three days he stayed in his room while constantly having an argument with himself. He liked the children's ward because it was colorful, more alive and not as boring as his part of the hospital. And there had been the boy he still tried to forget but he just couldn't. Why was even a secret to him. Maybe because he looked handsome, maybe because he could sing and play. Kurt had no idea and he was too afraid to find out what it was. Like he told himself over and over again, this guy was probably straight and he really didn't need any kind of those feelings.

Not to forget his handicap. Who would want someone in a wheelchair? And someone who was also gay? Yes, he knew Artie had girlfriends and was happy but Kurt was not Artie. Closing the Vogue magazine he looked out of the window seeing the sun shining and for a second he thought about going out, to the small park of the hospital. Or just role around the hospital and really go to the children's ward because it was the best place in this building. Warmer, smelling sweeter... he pushed the button and the nurse came, helping him into the wheelchair.

Taking his purse he decided to buy himself some coffee and stay in the cafeteria. Which was not just simply going and getting coffee. It was also a hurdle for him but one he was willing to fight against. The hurdle of feeling small and vulnerable and just accept that, yes, certain things he couldn't do yet but maybe one day.

Taking his coffee he placed it between his legs and rolled to a free table next to the window. He saw a pregnant woman talking with her husband. He more worried than she was. Then he saw an older man sitting with two kids and their father, laughing about something. But he also saw people who had it worse than he did. Some without a leg, some connected to a plastic bag and getting something into their system. Yes, he knew there were people who had to deal with more than he did. But he had every right to be upset or unhappy about his situation.

However, Kurt understood that he couldn't act like he did forever. One day he needed to go out again and just live. That was what he wanted, really. It was just so hard to get used to this when all he did his whole life was walking, dancing, performing. He dreamed about his own wedding, walking to his future husband in the most beautiful suit ever. Dreamed about trying different suits on, visiting the places he wanted to get married at. There was so much more he wanted to do and needed, wanted to be able to walk.

But what was worse, he thought. Trying and failing? Trying and succeeding? Trying and accepting? Or not to try at all? Kurt groaned and finished his coffee to find a place so his mind was busy with other things. And so he decided to visit the children's ward.

* * *

Colors. He really liked colors, even more after spending so much time in a white room. But it was not just the colors it was more than that. The people working here looked much more happier, much more human instead the nurses he had to deal with. Or, maybe, it was just his mind telling him this. Anyway, he liked it here and he even liked to hear voices, laughs. His part of the hospital was way too quiet and here, hearing the children being children even affected his mood.

The grumpy expression softened, his lips even curled up a little bit and his body didn't feel like a burden anymore. Well, less than a burden. He stopped at the door where he had seen the boy, able to look inside because it stood open and watched four children playing with some toys. Unsure if he could just roll inside he decided to stay at the wall across from the door, the perfect spot to still have a good view inside but not standing in the way.

In any other situation he would have felt sorry for those kids. Kids with cancer, kids with skin disease, kids who had to deal with so much in such a young age. But they smiled, they played and laughed and just enjoyed the moment. Because that's what kids could do best. Stop thinking and just live. Sometimes he missed those simple times when his mind wasn't understanding and thinking as much as it did.

One of the children, a girl, looked up and his eyes met with hers, bright and blue and she gave him a wide smile. He tried to return it but failed and the girl gave him a questioning look before she went back to whatever she was drawing on a piece of paper. Then she stood up and ran to him on her short legs. In her tiny hands she held a piece of paper and handed it to him.

"For you."

"For... me?"

She nodded enthusiastically and showed him a simple, child like drawing of a flower in bright green and pink color.

"Mommy always says that flowers make people smile. But I have no flower."

Smile, huh? Kurt almost felt bad that even a child could see how unhappy he was. So unhappy that he was not able to hide it anymore. This was even worse for him. No matter how he felt inside he really didn't want people to see how unhappy he was. That people saw his anger and his frustration, that was okay for him. But how unhappy he was? No. It was the first step for getting a pity party.

"Thank you. It's really beautiful," he tried and smiled and apparently he succeeded because the girl grinned right back.

"Why are you sitting in this chair?"

Ah, yes. Children never thought about what they said and did. And they also never thought about if asking something was okay or not. This time, though, Kurt couldn't be angry. Kids were always honest. Honest in what they thought and honest in what they asked.

"It helps me to move."

"You can't walk?"

"N... no. I can't."

Her big eyes observed the whole wheelchair and then her mouth dropped open.

"But you are pretty fast with those wheels, right?"

"I don't know," he shrugged.

"But cars have wheels too and they are fast!" she said in awe: "You could ran away from Bobby!"

"Bobby?" Kurt laughed because he had no idea what she was talking about but her face was priceless.

"Yeah! Bobby! He always picks on me when we are outside playing. He always wins when we have a foot race and says my legs are too short so I'll never win."

"Sounds like a mean boy."

"He is! I don't like boys. They are all mean!"

Kurt tried not to laugh but she was just too adorable.

"What's your name?"

"Emma!"

"Well, Emma, I know not all boys are mean."

"You are nice though. You like my flower."

She was bouncing on her feet, jumping from mood to mood and Kurt nodded.

"Can I use your chair against Bobby? We'll go out playing soon and I really want to win."

Kurt blinked, thought and then – without even thinking – he said.

"I need it, you know? But I have a better idea."

* * *

He had now idea why or how he found himself there, but Emma was sitting in his lap and Bobby was right next to them. They were outside in the park he thought about visiting. It came out that there was also a small playground for the children and while Emma was super excited to sit in a wheelchair Kurt only hoped she wouldn't fall down. What if this girl had some serious sickness and falling would make it even worse?

But the nurse next to them assured him that it was totally fine and that she was thankful that Kurt did that for her. She told him that Emma had a weak heart and couldn't walk or even run as fast and as much as other kids could. This almost broke Kurt's heart. There was this girl sitting in his lap with a heart that could kill her if she did too much. And his heart was perfectly fine. Only his legs were no longer alive. But he, he was alive and would be for many, many more years.

So he made sure to explain to her – like the nurse did – to hold on tight so she wouldn't fall down.

Bobby, a boy who was healthy and only went to the hospital from time to time, – because he always got into trouble and hurt himself – grinned, a superior grin Kurt knew way too well. Rolling his eyes he focused on Emma who stuck her tongue out to Bobby and gave Kurt a determined look.

"I count on you, Kurt."  
She looked too cute to take her serious but he tried to be just as determined as she was.

"Of course."

The children around them counted down from 3 to 1 and then Bobby ran and Kurt grabbed his wheels and began to role. It took him more strength than usually because, though Emma was small her weight was still more than Kurt usually had to carry with him. But after some seconds and trying harder and harder he became faster and Emma laughed.

He never considered the wheelchair as something good. Let alone as something that made him happy. But when he heard Emma laughing and pretend that this, rolling faster and faster was almost like walking he found a smile on his own lips. More than that, the fact that he could make a girl so much, that he could do something, this, made him happy. So he became a little bit faster and soon they overtook Bobby and eventually won this race.

"That's unfair!" yelled the boy but all Kurt could focus on was holding the little girl as he stopped rolling so she didn't fall.

"We've won!" smirked Emma, stuck her tongue out once again and then grinned at Kurt. And he? He did the same.

"Thank you!" she laughed and wrapped her short arms around his neck. It was a different hug. Not the one his father gave him or any other person he knew. Those hugs always felt like they tried to apologize but Emma? She was just thankful, honestly thankful.

Rolling back to the other children – who were all chanting Emma and Kurt – he let her down and the nurse immediately took care of her. For a second or two he was sincerely worried but the smile from the black haired nurse took that away.

"I want to ride on the wheelchair too!" said a boy his left eye hidden by an eye patch.

"It's time for lunch, Frank," explained the nurse and the boy pouted at her. Thanking Kurt she walked back into the hospital, the children following her but not without Emma asking Kurt to visit her again. He promised to do so and followed them soon after they had left.

* * *

Kurt never slept well when he had to stay at the hospital. That night though he slept pretty damn good and it was a good thing for his mood. Instead of being grumpy and unhappy he actually was satisfied. Not with his legs, not with his situation but it didn't seem to be as dark as yesterday. It was scary, yes, because he felt the hope rising in him. Hope that maybe things will change and hope that fate didn't want to ruin his life entirely. But hope was also dangerous and could make a dream, an idea into reality.

Still Kurt had to admit that he felt much more better around those children than being alone. That's why he went back there after his therapy.

He played with them as much as he could sitting in this wheelchair. Which was really not that easy. He couldn't just bent down and pick something up or run after a child when it jumped on the bed. All he could do was as much as his arms let him but luckily he figured out that most of the children enjoyed drawing. So they drew together. Their families, the things they liked – like kittens and puppies – and then Emma asked him something that brought the memories back he tried to avoid.

"Do you sing?"

"I do," he said slowly as Emma's eyes grew wider, along with the eyes of the other children.

"Can you play something for us and we all sing together?"

"I want to sing songs from the Lion King!" said Vincent, who was kneeling on his bed and pretended to be a lion.

"No! We'll sing from Aladdin!" protested Frank and bound some toilet paper around his head to create a turban. Kurt sighed and took the paper away from him, which was laying on the floor – between toys – anyway.

"I can't play an instrument, sorry."

"Then we'll wait for Blaine! Blaine can play guitar!" said Emma being super excited and also proud about her idea.

"Blaine won't come today, silly," groaned Rose and smacked her hand against her forehead.

Blaine, thought Kurt and he was not sure if it was the name of the boy he had seen once or if it was someone else. Who knew if the boy was the only one playing for them or if they had other people doing that for the children. And children were just like that, easily forgetting something and coming up with something new.

"Then let's draw Disney characters!"

And so Kurt did because, apparently, those children liked his drawings. One thing he was good at and pretty proud of.

* * *

The next day he didn't have any therapy and also finished reading a book before he decided to visit the children's ward again. However, when he arrived there and rolled through the corridor he stopped before he even got to close to the familiar, colored door. There he was again, the boy with the guitar and right before him stood a kid, probably a girl thought Kurt. A girl without hair and looked way too thin and pale.

And almost like she was about to cry and Kurt just wanted to go there and make her smile again. He saw her before but just then he really noticed her. A girl with cancer and she probably understood what it meant. Unfair, he thought, it was so unfair that such a young human being had to deal with something like that.

But then she smiled because of something the boy said and ran back inside the room where Emma and the other kids were. His eyes moved back to the boy who was smiling but not that happy smile. It was the smile you gave just for the sake of it. The smile because you didn't want people to see how you really felt. And also the one you just gave in hopes of that it helped.

Before he thought about turning around and rolling away the boy already noticed him and running – or rolling – away again just seemed a bit too silly and childish. Yet, again, only one look into those puppy eyes and Kurt never wanted to look away. That was dangerous, that was nothing he needed but he couldn't help himself.

"Hey! We've met some days ago!" said the other, genuinely happy.

"Um...yeah, we did."

"My name is Blaine," he said, his smile not even fading, not breaking, not a bit. It was honest and warm and Kurt liked that. Liked that there was no pity.

"Kurt," he returned and shook Blaine's hand. Blaine, yes, he liked the name the first time he heard it and now even more.

"Ah, the famous Kurt. Emma told me you two won against Bobby, huh?"

"We did but my arms still hurt though," and Kurt wanted to slap himself for saying this. Avoiding pity was his aim and now he literally asked for it.

"Well, Bobby's pretty fast. His legs might be short but he can run."

Kurt chuckled before he could stop himself. Well, small talk was okay, right?

"You are a good singer, you know? I really enjoyed hearing you sing and play."

Blaine smirked, proud and honest: "Thank you. It's really a good thing when I can help others with my singing and playing. Children always love Disney. Adults though, well you know, adults."

"Yeah, I know. But I think Disney is for everyone and not just children."

"Right?!" it came out a bit louder than Blaine wanted to but seeing him so excited made Kurt almost giggle again. God, how could this boy even be real?

"They said you sing too. Actually, they won't shut up about you."

Kurt only shrugged, not prepared for the question coming from the other boy.

"We can sing something together? I bet you sound incredible."

"Um, no. Really. I love singing but they would probably laugh about my voice."

"What? No way! They'll love it. Children don't care, they just want to enjoy the things they like with anyone who enjoys the same thing."

Did this mean that Blaine cared? Was Blaine flirting with him? Was this feeling inside him the line he didn't want and couldn't cross? It was really just a question, Kurt was sure of it. It was just a nice statement, honest or not – though he liked to believe Blaine was honest. However, crossing the line was not an option for him. Because, so far, he found only things to like about Blaine.

"Thanks but... no."

And he rolled away, needing his room more than ever.


	3. Chapter 3

Hey guys! Sorry for the very late update. I have now far more time for this fic and for my other mini fic because I've finished Two Coins :) hope you enjoy this chapter!

* * *

Part 3

Kurt didn't understand himself. Meeting Blaine was like meeting the sun, warm and making him want to smile. He was like the children but not quiet. Alone his presence made Kurt feel too much to handle and stuff he didn't want to feel. Dealing with his handicap was actually enough. Yet, he needed to be around those children and just forget for a while. With them, drawing and laughing he forgot all his dark thoughts, all the nights he couldn't sleep.

He felt just as carefree as they did. Together they drew Disney characters, colored those and hung them up over their beds. On his lap sat Claire, the girl Blaine had talked to two days ago and laughed about two other kids jumping on their beds, happy about their pictures of Mulan and Mushu.

He didn't know what they all had. What illness forced them to stay here expect of Claire and Emma and he thought, it was not really important to know that. There were nurses, people always watching the children and he, the only thing he wanted to do, was laugh with them together.

But he was surprised that Blaine hadn't shown up in the past two days because he came, at least, three times a week.

Yes, he was sometimes waiting for him and he really didn't like that. Waiting and then seeing him meant to fall harder for a gorgeous boy. Falling was not an option but also was avoiding him, though, this boy made him feel even better when his days were dark.

Eventually he entered the room and all children cheered, jumped off whatever surface they were on and Blaine laughed, pulling them into a group hug. Claire was also somewhere between the kids and Kurt smiled. Only one person could make them laugh and smile and forget what they were going through.

"I see that we have a guest with us?"

His mind wandered back to what Blaine said to him the last time they saw each other. How he wanted them to sing together something with the kids. His hands already wanted to grab the wheels and roll back to his room, but, his room was not as bright, happy and colorful as this one. So he only smiled. A small smile but it made Blaine smiled even wider.

"We've been drawing!" said a black skinned kid and grabbed Blaine's hand, dragging him to the wall where all the drawings were.

"Is that Ariel? Oh and Mushu!" he said with huge eyes and made the little boy giggle. His tiny hands pressed against his mouth and Blaine placed his guitar next to the bed, taking the boy into his arms and turning around to the other kids.

"Are we going to sing?" asked Emma and Blaine shook his head no, their smiles immediately gone and some even began to protest. Kurt tried not to laugh.

"We will be singing. I promise. But I want to do something else with you guys," he said and sat down on the bed, some of the kids already climbing on it to sit next to Blaine and the others on the one across, facing him. Claire came back to Kurt, a questioning look on her face like she was not sure if he would stay or not.

Hell, why not he thought and stretched his arms out to help her back on his lap. He rolled closer to Blaine and the kids and let Claire rest against his chest when she leaned back. He let one arm rest around her to signal her that this was okay. And it was, because he wanted her to know that she mattered and she was not alone. Just like his father taught him.

"Today I want you to think about your dreams. What you want to do, who you want to be. Because dreams are important, you know?" said Blaine and the children listened, eyes big and some nodded slowly.

"They help us to move on and make us strong. So I'll start with my dream, okay?"

"You want to be a prince, right?" said Emma like a child usually spoke and it was too adorable. Her dreamy eyes and her fingers entwined.

Blaine laughed, caressed her hair and Kurt couldn't help himself but think that he already was a prince. Well, for him he looked like one and behaved like one. Coming here and making children happy with songs though they were not even related. The question why he actually did that never crossed his mind. All he wanted was avoiding Blaine. He still wanted to.

"Sorry to disappoint you, but I don't want to be a prince. I want to become a songwriter."

"Songwriter? You mean you want to write books?" asked another child.

"No," he smiled, always smiled warm and soft. "I want to write songs for movies. Like Disney songs."

"You could write a song about Mushu because he is awesome," said the black boy sitting on Blaine's lap, his curls tickling under his chin.

"For example, yes. And I keep that dream close to me and want to make this dream real. That's why I keep on moving and don't give up."

Their mouths were all formed to an O shape.

"Alright, Emma. What is your dream?"

"I want to bake cookies and cakes. Pretty cakes for mommy and daddy."

"I bet you'll be amazing." said Blaine and asked the other children. Some wanted to become superheros, some painters, a boy wanted to become an astronaut, a girl wanted to become a teacher. They all had their dreams and their eyes were shining whenever they talked about their dream.

Some were real some not, like the one boy saying he wanted to become a bird so he could fly and Blaine telling him he could become a pilot and also fly. At some point Kurt stopped listening and just watched Blaine talking with the kids. Treating them like normal people who were not terribly sick or having whatever handicap. His voice made them smile, kept them motivated and their eyes were huge, their lips constantly smiling and he was just blown away by this.

He wished he had someone who would talk to him like Blaine did. Who would smile and support him in this way. Yes, he had his dad but this was different. His dad was supposed to care about him. Blaine was not but he wished, for a second, that he would.

"Kurt?" it was Claire who dragged him out of his thoughts.

"Yes?" he said, meeting her eyes and feeling the others also watching him.

"We want to know what is your dream," she said and Kurt looked to Blaine, seeing the smile, the warm gold in his eyes and it was like something switched inside him. But before he could answer the nurse came, saying that it was their time to go out. The children jumped up, dressed and followed her outside, two of them tugging at Kurt's hand and other at Blaine's to follow them.

Blaine laughed: "We are coming, no worries." And gave Kurt a look. He nodded.

* * *

Outside he sat in his chair, watching the kids run and laugh, some were building a castle of sand and Blaine in the middle of them. He was chasing the kids, laughing when one clutched his leg and didn't let go, so that the other kids could run away from him. For once he wasn't feeling jealous or grumpy about the fact the he could not run with them. He just enjoyed watching the kids have fun with Blaine. Well, he enjoyed watching Blaine. This young man with tan skin and smoothed down curls, with a smile that made even the sun jealous and with so much life inside this small body.

For the first time since the accident he enjoyed seeing something like this. Because, somehow, Blaine made him enjoy this. Maybe it was because of his smile or maybe because how he treated him. Any other person, expect him or the kids were always careful, almost sorry for what happened to him and gave him all those pity looks.

Blaine and the kids never did that. The fact that he was sitting in a chair was no big deal for them. At least it felt like that and he liked this feeling. Claire collected flowers and at some point she came over to Kurt and gave him some of those, smiling sweetly and he thanked her. Then she climbed back on his lap, clearly exhausted and fell asleep as he held her.

Thinking that this girl was closer to death than he was made him feel really bad about his own behavior. How he made a big scene because he couldn't walk. But he was alive. He would stay alive longer than she would if the cancer won. Of course he hopes, even prayed that this was not going to happen. She was too young to say good bye now and the world had far too many beautiful things to explore.

He hoped that she would see all these things because he did. Not all of them but more than the eight year old girl sleeping in his arms.

One of the nurses came and took Claire into her arms, the other nurse called for the rest of the kids because it was time for their medicine and doctor visits. Remaining under the tree he watched them go and his eyes looked for a taller body, for curls but he was not between them. Looking back to the playground he saw Blaine, clapping his hands free from the sand and then walked over to Kurt, making his heart beat a little faster.

"So, what is it?" he asked when he stood next to Kurt and, like the last time, he crouched to be on eye-level with Kurt. That was always better than people bending down and looking even taller than he was. It always made him feel weak and small and he disliked this, a lot.

"What is what?"

"Your dream," smiled Blaine and Kurt looked down to his hands, not sure if he should talk about it. He stopped doing that after his accident, knowing that it was impossible because he couldn't walk anymore. However, something that Blaine did or just... something about him made him feel safe so that he could say it out loud without hearing, that is impossible.

"I wanted to become a performer. Theater, Broadway, something like that. But, well, I can't anymore."

"Just because you can't move your legs?"

He said nothing, didn't move or nod.

"I wouldn't think of it as a reason to not try, you know?"

"Well, I can't dance and move like I used to."

He heard Blaine humming, saw him looking up as he chased his thoughts and then Blaine sat down, probably because his legs began to hurt.

"Can I ask you something and you promise me you won't just role away? Because you can be pretty fast and I'm not sure I can keep up with you."

This made Kurt snort. He being faster than Blaine? With his hands and arms still not used to the wheels? He doubted that but it made him still laugh a little.

"I promise."

Blaine flashed him a smile, showing his white teeth and Kurt couldn't help but think that he looked like an exited puppy.

"You used to walk, right?"

"Yeah."

"And there is a chance you can walk again?"

Kurt shrugged. Everyone told him that there is a chance but he was not ready to believe in that and face the hard truth that he could not.

"Then why do you think you will not become a performer? I think you should hold on that and try everything and, one day, you'll be walking again."

"It's... not that easy."

Blaine sighed and nodded slowly.

"I understand that. But, you know, that's what dreams are for, right? Trying to make them come true and use them as our strength."

He knew that this was the truth. Before the accident he used his dream as his strength and went through each hard time because he believed in his dream. Through the bullies, through the people who treated him wrong, through the injustice in the Glee Club. He knew he was good, special and that the world needed someone like him. Something else and he wanted to be that person.

Proving everyone wrong and become a star, if just for a short time.

But this accident took his legs away and his dream too. A hard pill to swallow and he just wondered, when, when would come the time for him to be happy and successful and not taking one punch after another.

"I'd like to help you."

Blaine's words snapped him out of his thoughts and he stared down to the boy. That was the last thing he wanted and needed. Pity.

"No. You-"

"I mean it. I really want to help you."

"Well, I don't need your help."

Kurt didn't mean to snap at him and take the smile away form his lips. He didn't mean to be rude to that handsome and lovely young man who made him feel all these things. But he didn't need any pity, any help or people feeling obligated to help him. And he for sure didn't want Blaine's help and fall for him just to be dumped because he would never walk again.

So he rolled off, back into the building and aching for his room. His empty, cold room.

* * *

The next three days he didn't go back to the children's ward. He didn't attend his therapy and he didn't talk to his father when he came over. His mood was worse than before and he hated himself for being so, angry, grumpy, cold. But imagining that Blaine only wanted to help him because he felt sorry was like a punch in the stomach. Deep, painful and nothing he needed to face every time they saw each other.

It made him just angry that people wanted to help him because of his handicap and not because they were interested in him and his happiness. That was what Blaine did, right? Just coming here and sing and play with those kids because he felt sorry for them.

Yet, his feeling told him that this was not the truth. Blaine just didn't seem to be that guy but what did Kurt know? It was not like he knew this boy at all.

On the fourth day he left his room and only because he thought of Claire, the girl who was so close to death and didn't give up. He left the building and rolled back to the playground, watching the children play and run and was relieved that Blaine was not with them. He waited for an hour and then decided to join them and was greeted by cheers and small figured running towards them.

Claire was the first who noticed him, ran over and climbed on his lap to wrap her arms around his neck. Then there was Emma, gasping for air and Kurt told her to calm down. She followed his words and when her breathing became even he smiled at her. Only one smile, only one look at those kids and all the dark clouds left his head.

Together they went back into the building and into their room where the kids showed him what they had been drawing for the past days. One even complained that he didn't come to visit them and he apologized, saying, that he acted like an idiot. Some kids giggled and Emma pouted, giving Kurt a look and said: "You are not an idiot."

He smiled at her and then heard one of the boys saying: "Blaine was not here either."

"No?" asked Kurt, clearly surprised about that. Blaine came, at least, every second day and knowing he wasn't here for 4 days was, well, unusual.

"But you can sing with us!"

"Er... no, I-"

"Pleaaaase!" begged Emma and made those huge eye and pouted.

"Well... okay. What do you want to sing?"

"Disney of course!" said the children and Kurt thought about a song they could sing and he knew. Well, he knew all songs because he loved Disney himself.

"You've got a friend in me," he began to sing, slightly breathless because he never sung in front of the children and he expected them to laugh. But they all made huge eyes, smiled and began to sing with him. The boys pretended to be Woody or Buzz and stood on their beds, clapping along as they sang loud and clear.

When the song was over they laughed and clapped and began a new song. It was obviously not the same with a guitar but Kurt thought they did good when some of the kids were exhausted after the fourth song. He helped Claire into her bed, let Emma kiss his cheek and smiled over her excited thank you. Then it was time for him to leave the kids alone.

Kbkbkbkbk

"You're doing good, Kurt," said Jimmy as he held himself up on the bars and tried to move his legs. It was a week later and he found new strength. Everyday he went to visit the kids and sang with them. And he had fun with them for a very specific reason. One because he loved seeing them smile and smile himself and second because of what Claire said to him two days ago.

She said, that, she liked his voice because it was high and that made him sound happy. She loved that and he never thought about his voice in that way. It was true. People who were sad always spoke in a whisper or very low and he liked this new view on himself. That's were he took his strength from. If he could make people happy with his voice than he wanted to become a performer. He was determined to become one and so he worked his ass off when he went back to his therapy.

But, still, nothing really changed. His legs didn't want to move and he felt his impatience.

"Easy, Kurt. Just focus on your legs," spoke Jimmy.

Nodding he tried to move but only his hands and arms were listening. One more minute, another and five minuted later he shook his head and Jimmy helped him back into his chair.

Sighing he wiped the sweat off his forehead and thanked Jimmy when he gave him a bottle of water.

"You are doing really good, Kurt. I mean it. It will take some time but we'll get you there."

"How are so sure though?" he asked after he took a swig of his water: "They say it's possible and not that I will walk again."

"I've seen miracles. There were many people who thought they would never walk again or move at all. But they made it because they didn't give up."

Kurt was not a person who gave up easily and after 4 months of living in this chair he was almost tired of his own thoughts and behavior. Not almost, no, he was tired of it.

"You think I can make it?"

Jimmy smiled, honest and warm: "I'm sure you'll make it."

After his therapy he took a shower, the nurse helping him and rolled outside to the kids, playing with them. It was clearly colder and autumn was close. The green trees slowly turned into their red and gold color. This meant that they wouldn't go out as often as they used to because it could rain any day. Blaine didn't come back for a whole week and even Kurt was worried about that. What if something happened? He knew that stuff like that could happen suddenly and he felt a bit panic inside him. He snapped at Blaine for no real reason and now he maybe didn't have a chance to apologize?

No, he shook his head. Don't think like that.

Around 6 pm he was back in his room and found a note on his nightstand. As the nurse helped him on his bed he reached out for it and read the words.

_I'm sorry if I hurt you. Please call me._

A number was written under the words and he raised an eyebrow.

"Blaine left that for you," said the nurse and her smile was almost dreamy.

"Blaine?" his heart jumped.

"Yes. He came over today and left that note."

Well, apparently Blaine was known here, which was not really surprising. She gave him one last smile and left his room and Kurt alone. For several minutes he just stared at the note and read the words over and over again, remembering the last time they saw each other and how he snapped at Blaine. Apparently he felt just as bad as Kurt did and all of this was a huge misunderstanding. Maybe he was right and Blaine didn't feel any pity because of his situation.

He huffed, turned the TV on but was not paying any attention. Instead he was fumbling with his phone, staring at the number he just had saved on it. Eventually he began to type a text.

_Kurt: You didn't hurt me._

The answer came only two minutes later.

_Blaine: I'm still sorry for whatever I did._

_Kurt: You did nothing. Really. I just don't like it when people pity me._

_Blaine: I did not pity you. I would never. I know that this isn't helping people. I just really want to help you._

Kurt wondered why. Why would someone like Blaine who he knew for just some weeks. Well not really because he didn't even know if this boy was gay, or how old he was. All he knew was that he could sing and play the guitar and that he made Kurt feel all these funny things.

_Kurt: Why?_

This time it took a bit longer for Blaine to answer him.

_Blaine: Because I really like you. _

He felt a jolt running through his body and his cheeks began to burn. He had no idea what to text back and was nervous but also glad that Blaine answered.

_Blaine: I've heard you singing and your voice, Kurt. It's amazing. Really amazing._

He couldn't help but smile and already began to text back before he got another message from Blaine.

_Blaine: And yes I am gay._

_Blaine: You are too, right? I mean I just... I am right, right?_

_Blaine: OMG I'm wrong, right? You probably think I'm a freak._

Kurt actually laughed and texted back to stop Blaine going crazy with sending text after text and saying how sorry he was.

_Kurt: Yes I am gay. Stop freaking out._

_Blaine: :D I'm still sorry tho. I just really want us to be friends. _

Friends, thought Kurt. That was not exactly what he wanted but this was probably everything he could get. And that was okay. It was not surprising that someone like Blaine wanted them to be friends instead of more. Anyone would be fine with being Kurt's friend but not more. Because who was ready to deal with a gay kid in a wheelchair.

_Kurt: Friends sounds great._

_Blaine: Cool. Okay, I have to do some homework but I'd like to see you, tomorrow?_

_Kurt: Yeah, sure. Children's ward?_

_Blaine: Yes. I've been busy and I really need to see the kids again._

_Kurt: They really miss you._

Just like Kurt had missed him. Really missed him.


	4. Chapter 4

I forgot to mention something in the last chapter! The stuff about 'how Kurt's voice sounds always happy because it's high and not so low' is actually something Chris Colfer experienced. It's not exactly a quote but the message is the same :)

* * *

Part 4

They next day he woke up with a smile on his face, which never had happened since he ended up in this hospital. But he smiled because he was happy about what had happened before he fell asleep. How Blaine left a note for him and gave him his number and apologized for whatever he did. And he liked Kurt, and he was gay himself and Kurt wanted to do those kicky feet but he couldn't. However, this didn't affect his good mood but he told himself to stay calm.

Only because Blaine texted him that he liked Kurt and was gay too was no ticket for a happily ever after. They agreed to be friends and friends was something Kurt could deal with. Though he was not sure for how long. The more he thought about this boy the more he wanted to be more to him. More than a friend. He wanted to have what any other couple had and Blaine seemed to be the right person for that. Only, if Kurt wouldn't consider himself as a burden... well, things would be different. He could ask Blaine if they wanted to go out somewhere. Eat something, watch a movie, a concert, anything. With his wheelchair it was no longer that easy because not every building or place was made for his wheels. Not to forget that he still didn't feel safe rolling around the city and in the end it would be Blaine who had to help him. Getting pity and being a burden was the last thing he wanted.

And it was not like he expected more, so that was okay. Being friends was okay because Blaine could be a good friend, or so he hoped.

After breakfast and his physical therapy he rolled to the children's ward, greeting the nurses who by know knew him and smiled happily about his presence. They constantly told him how happy and thankful they were that he came over and brought some light and fun into the kids life. At some point he did it exactly because of that. He wanted to see them happy. At the beginning he wanted to make himself happy, a complete selfish reason. Now his reason was no longer as selfish as before.

He opened the door and rolled inside smiling when the kids smiled back and wanted to hug him hello. But there was no Blaine he noticed when he looked around. Feeling a bit sad about that he tried not to show it and listened to Emma who began to complain about Liam, how he changed the color of Belle's dress. Liam defended his doing that he preferred green instead of yellow and Kurt promised Emma to draw a new picture of Belle.

After that they started to guess characters which Kurt was describing and instead of holding their hands up, they shouted the answers into the room. He was actually describing Tarzan but Tommy was convinced that it's someone else. Simba.

"He has brown hair and it's long and he walks on all fours."

"It's not Simba, dummy," said Emma dramatically and smacked her forehead with her hand.

"Of course it is, he lives in the Jungle too!"

They all began to discuss about who Kurt was describing and he really enjoyed seeing them so open and dramatic. Kids were truly a blessing. They didn't think much about what to say and what not. They usually said the truth because lying was no option for them. And they didn't care if someone was black or white, or gay or not. They just cared about if someone was nice or not.

Kurt tried to calm them down when their voices became louder and louder but they only became quiet when the door flew open and there he stood.

Smiling like he had swallowed the sun and looking every handsome today. He had a brown cardigan, under it a orange colored button up and dark, maybe too tight pants. He looked like fall and Kurt really liked that color because it made Blaine's eyes look more like gold. The bow tie and his smoothed down hair made him even look more handsome – though he really liked Blaine's curls he also liked this look. Yeah, he looked really, a bit, overdressed for just coming here and sing with the children.

"BLAINE!" they jumped up, Kurt felt the ground shaking for a second and ran over to him, almost knocking him over. He laughed with them and Kurt sat in his chair, watching the arms and legs move, hearing them laugh and wished, he could do the same. Stand up, walk and fall right into Blaine's arms. He wondered what it would feel like to get a hug from him, to feel him close. Was he as warm as his smile? Soft? Probably. But also hard, like the body of a man. No, he shook his head, not wanting to think that way. Not here.

"I'm happy to see you too," he laughed and the kids climbed off of him and their eyes met. Blaine smiling slightly breathless and Kurt tried not to blush.

"Hey," he said when Blaine stood next to him and laid his hand on Kurt's shoulder, squeezing it and he tried not to shiver. Yep, Blaine was definitely warm.

"Hey and sorry, again."

"It's alright."

Blaine nodded, keeping his smile and walked towards one of the beds, the children already coming together and waiting for Blaine to sing with them.

"I've heard my friend, Kurt, will sing with us today."

"He has a beautiful voice! He always sounds happy when he sings," said one of the boys.

Kurt said nothing but helped Claire on his lap while Blaine took his guitar and nodded slowly.

"Where have you been though?" asked Emma and tugged on Blaine's hand.

"School stuff. It's my last year so I have a lot to do."

Last year, huh? So Blaine was around his age?

"But you'll won't make us wait again?"

"No. I promise," he laughed and held his guitar. "Alright, what do you guys think about singing 'A Whole New World'?" He saw the many heads nodding and Claire giggled against his chest. With a last wide smile Blaine began to play the song and sang the first words alone. Then they joined in and at some point he pressed his finger against his lips and the kids were quiet. But Blaine kept on playing, giving Kurt an encouraging look and he understood though he needed a second or two before he sang alone one part of the song.

It felt good to sing something, finally sing something and not think about, that, he would never sing on stage because he couldn't walk. It felt good to just do what he loved and smiled when Claire sang with him. Then the other kids sang along but Blaine did not sing. He was just playing and when Kurt looked up and met his eyes he almost stopped singing himself.

The other boy was staring at him, mouth slightly open and his finger moving on their own, knowing this song by now. It was almost like he could see inside Kurt, or tried to do that and he was not sure how to respond, or respond at all. So he kept on singing while his heart was beating way too fast.

* * *

They left the children's ward when the nurses and doctors came. It was raining outside so there was no chance to get outside. Sadly, thought Kurt but this flew out of his mind when he realized he was alone with Blaine. Alone, rolling to the elevator and... he had no idea what to say or do. Usually they would have gone outside, played with the kids and then they all went back to their rooms or home.

Not that day. And Blaine made sure that Kurt didn't even think this day would end like any other.

"Do you... have some time? We could, I don't know, drink some coffee or just... talk?"

Kurt was quiet, thinking but there was not much to think about. His dad wouldn't visit him today and his friend left Ohio almost two months ago.

"I could... really use some company," he admitted and it was harder than he thought. Alone, with Blaine, in his room. That sounded like a nice dream.

"Good!" he smiled, obviously happy about that and they left the elevator together. Kurt rolled down the hallway, stopped at the door 21 and opened it, Blaine right behind him. At his bed he pressed the button for the nurse and soon she was with them, helping Kurt out of his chair. While she did that his eyes were focused on anything but Blaine, still being a little afraid to see pity in his eyes. Because this, that he let Blaine see him in such a vulnerable state was even surprising for Kurt.

However, somewhere, deep inside him, he was sure he could trust Blaine for not giving him that look he really hated.

The nurse left them when Kurt was safe on his bed and Blaine walked closer, taking the chair and sitting down next to the bed.

"My mother made me some sandwiches. She always does that when I come over here and play for the kids. We can, share if you want to."

Kurt nodded, really missing home made food. Carole made sure to come over and give him something but she was busy too, taking care of other people in the hospital. He took the two sandwiches out, handed Kurt one and whispered a thank you before he took a bite. It tasted amazing and he almost moaned shamelessly about that fact. So he groaned and said: "This is really good."

"Right? My mom's a good cook. She owns her own restaurant here in Lima," he said when he took another bite.

"So you are from Lima?"

"Not really. We moved here some months ago. I used to live in Westerville before my parents got divorced."

"Oh, sorry about that."

"Nah, it's okay though. My dad is kind of a jerk. When I came out he tried to make straight and my mother left him because of that. So I'm actually doing fine."

"What a jerk indeed," said Kurt and made Blaine laugh. He liked that he could make him laugh and he loved the sound of that.

"What about you?"

"I live in Lima together with my dad. My mother died when I was eight. But it's okay, really. My dad is pretty amazing."

"Not homophobic?"

"Not at all," said Kurt and took another bite of his sandwich, chewed, swallowed and said: "He knew it before I came out and he had a hard time but he was always supportive."

Blaine smiled, taking another bite and finished his sandwich.

"Are you going to McKinley?" asked Kurt because he was sure if Blaine was there he would have noticed him.

"No. I'm going to Dalton. I went to Dalton when we were still living in Westerville and it's a good school so I wanted to spent my last year at Dalton too."

Kurt raised both eyebrows, calculating the distance from Lima to Westerville.

"Are you driving from Lima to Westerville and back every day?"

"No. Dalton is a good school but we also have a lot to study that's why they have dorms and I sleep there. That's why I'm just every second day here."

It kind of made no sense to Kurt why someone would come to a Lima hospital just to sing for kids. It was not like Westerville had none.

"But, why here? Isn't it exhausting and time consuming?"

He finished his sandwich while Blaine spoke.

"It's all about time management. I come here to visit my mom and support her whenever I can. Though she left my father it doesn't mean she did it just like that. She was heartbroken, had a panic attack and we ended up here. I was so worried about her that I just kept walking around and somehow ended up at the children's ward. And I saw those kids and just... I wanted to see them smile and since then I come here whenever I can and sing with them. It's also because music helped my mother. And it worked. The kids are doing much better."

Knowing that Blaine did this just because he wanted to and not because he had to, or, felt pity for them made Kurt smile. He was right about his idea that Blaine had a good heart and cared about people's happiness.

"You went to McKinley, right?"

"Yeah," nodded Kurt: "Fortunately I graduated before I had this car accident."

"Car accident, huh?" spoke Blaine slowly, resting his arms on the bed and his chin on them, looking up to Kurt. He was so close, Kurt only needed to lift his hand and he could touch him. His curls, his face, but he did not. In fact, he felt a bit creepy wanting to do this thought he didn't know this boy yet. That was just the beginning.

"Yeah. I was in a coma for three weeks and when I woke up I couldn't move my legs. It's been like this for almost four months now. The first three I couldn't handle it but since I met the kids I feel better."

"They do help a person, right?"

Kurt nodded.

"Please, don't get this the wrong way. But, if I were you and knew I had a chance to walk again, I'd try."

Kurt leaned back with a sigh not really wanting to be mad at Blaine because it was true. There was a chance but he was not ready to grab it and fall into this dark hole again. He feared that place more than anything and he rather tried to deal with it than go back there.

"You know, when I came out it was... no fun. Really. Before Dalton I went to a public school and it was not gay friendly. But I felt still safe, asked a friend out to be my date on the Sadie Hawkins dance. We had fun, just fun and after the dance they beat us up, so bad that I ended up in a hospital as well."

While Blaine spoke and Kurt registered his words he felt sorry and angry for what had happened to him and his friend. Bullies were something he was familiar with but not on that level. The urge to reach out for his hand and squeeze it was strong but he refused, entwining his fingers and keeping his hands on his lap.

"I had several injuries, a broken arm and leg and also lay in a coma for a week. When I woke up I couldn't move my arm and it was really scary. But it just came from the shock or something. I don't even remember but, what I try to say is, don't give up yet. There is a chance."

The way Blaine spoke about this, something that must have changed his life, without sadness, without anger was surprising and telling Kurt how brave and strong this boy truly was. He was so much more than handsome and charming and he really couldn't stop but feeling more for him and see him in a brighter, bigger light.

"I'm sorry what happened to you. Homophobes are the worst."

"They are, right? But they won't get us down."

They shared a smile and then Blaine checked his watch and stood up.

"I'm sorry but I have to go now," he pulled the strap of his bag over his head and let it rest on his left shoulder: "We can... text later?"

"I'd love to," and when he said it he wanted to press his hands against his mouth but refused because the other boy smiled, warm and wide.

"Later."

* * *

October came, fall too and Kurt honestly felt like he was himself again. Alive, happy and not just dreaming and hoping. Everyday he got to his therapy, tried harder and though nothing changed it didn't put him down. The kids were still his fountain of happiness and realizing that he could have had it much worse. And he got something else too, something new.

Blaine joining him in his room was not a one time thing. After they spent some with the kids he joined Kurt in his room, talking, getting to know each other or doing his homework when he had a lot to do. When Blaine did his homework Kurt usually read something not wanting to disturb him. This was his new favorite time of the day, well every second day, and he just enjoyed the pleasant company. He enjoyed watching him, not trying to be creepy or too obvious but he enjoyed watching him write something down. How his face became calm and then a bit tense when he thought pretty hard. And then the small victory smile when he found the solution or understood something.

Yes, October started pretty amazing and his dad noticed the change in Kurt's mood too.

His father was more relaxed, almost relieved that his son was no longer this grumpy, hopeless person he sued to be in the past weeks. Even Kurt needed to thank his dad for deciding that it was better to keep him in the hospital for a while longer instead of traveling home and back.

"Can we go out? Like, for a walk? It's really pretty outside," suggested Blaine when they left the children's ward.

"Uh, sure. I just need a jacket and a blanket for my legs."

They stopped at Kurt's room to get those things and, again, the other boy proved that he understood Kurt. He didn't help him get into his jacket nor wrapping the blanket around Kurt's legs. In the past weeks they development a trust between each other both enjoyed. To trust Blaine was actually easy and usually Kurt would have felt alarmed that he trusted someone, just like that. Still, something about Blaine just screamed that it was the right thing to do.

Outside Blaine walked beside him, watching the red, orange and yellow leaves falling, covering the road of gray stone and breathing in the cold but fresh wind. Kurt had to admit that the hospital was very pretty outside. All the trees, the playground for the kids, the flowers and the silence, a blessing for his soul. Even silence was comfortable with Blaine and he smiled about that, cheeks turning pink.

"How are the Warblers doing, though?" he asked and looked up to Blaine, who looked really handsome with his red scarf and dark jacket.

"Wes is a pain in the ass, pardon my french." Kurt chuckled, Blaine continued. "It's our last year and we are all close to a mental break down because of the amount on stuff we have to study for December. But he still tries to squeeze more hours of practice into our schedule. Luckily we are all against it so he won't win."

"He has to study too. Or is he one of those super smart kids?" asked Kurt, slightly breathless because he was not used to use his hands and arms that much. Also, the path they were walking was a bit steep. He didn't complain though, not wanting to be the burden.

"Not really. He's just good at managing his time. Not every Warbler can do that. But, as long as we vote against it there won't be more hours for practice than we already have."

"That's... good," he said and then his hand began to hurt and he stopped, braking and pulling the levers for the brakes so he wouldn't roll away.

"Hey, you're alright?" asked Blaine, voice clearly worried and hunkered down to be on eye-level with Kurt who rubbed his hand and wrist.

"Yeah, I just need a break. I'm not used to... use this chair that much."

Well, he didn't like to roll around anywhere and stand in the way or get all these pity looks. There were too many people in Lima who knew him and, no, he didn't need this fake pity from people who never cared.

Blaine was silent, his eyes watching Kurt's hands and then he reached out, touching his hand gently and it felt good, so good. His fingers were warm and gentle, soft on his skin and making Kurt forget the slight burn underneath it. And then his fingers wrapped around Kurt's hand, holding it safe and warm and he had trouble breathing. Everything was just warm, from his head to the rest he felt of his body. God, he was so out of this world that he even believed his toes were moving.

"Let me help you?" Blaine asked, not commanded, not stated but asked.

Kurt couldn't say no. Not while those big golden eyes, so close, so beautiful were looking at him like that. But he waited before he nodded, wanting to feel this hand around his for a while longer and wishing, he could just stand up and hold this hand.

He nodded and Blaine made a happy noise, jumping up and stepping behind the wheelchair.

"I'll be careful, trust me."

Oh, Kurt had no doubt about that. Actually, after their hands lost contact he was almost glad that Blaine stood behind him and didn't see his cheeks burning, right to the tip of his ears. Yes, this fall started pretty amazing for him. He found a good friend. A friend he fell slowly in love with.


	5. Chapter 5

Sorry for the late update. It's really not easy to write this fic but I worked on the plot so I guess I'll be able to update regularly. And I have more time to focus on that fic since all my other fics (expect one I started last Saturday) are finished. Now, let's start with part 5 because I made a little happy dance while writing this.

* * *

Part 5

Blaine handed him a cup of coffee. For some crazy reason Kurt agreed to go somewhere else as the grounds of the hospital. Actually, the reason was pretty simple. He ached for some kind of normality in his life. Living in a hospital was not normal, at least not for him. Only when he would leave it, well he had no idea but it was definitely something he needed to talk about with his dad.

Since it was almost December they wore gloves, scarfs and beanies, especially Kurt needed more because he couldn't move. Blaine sat down on the bench next to Kurt, sipping his coffee and looking tired. No wonder, his exams were pretty close and this was probably the last day when they saw each other. Kurt did not approve that's why he asked.

"Will you come back before Christmas?"

"Definitely. When are you leaving?"

"My dad said something around the twenty second of December."

Blaine smiled, his cheeks pink from the cold: "Excited for Christmas?"

"I don't know. But I can't wait to eat some homemade food."

"What about your therapy?"

Kurt shrugged but it was not the sad shrug.

"Jimmy said I'm doing good but I don't feel anything changing."

That Blaine reached out for his hand became something natural. Whenever he wanted to encourage him or calm him down he reached out for his hand and squeezed it, held it and didn't let go. The first time this happened Kurt was excited, than confused when his friend clearly had nothing against some physical contact – to be honest he was sure Blaine was a cuddle monster – and somehow it became a natural thing.

Not feeling his hand was unnatural for Kurt and he knew he would miss holding this warm hand. The fact that they held hands outside of the hospital, around the people from Lima who weren't exactly gay friendly, not even this bothered him anymore.

"So will it only be you and your dad on Christmas?"

"No. Carole will be with us, my stepmom."

Silence and then Blaine asked something Kurt really did not expect to hear.

"No boyfriend?"

He looked up, eyebrows raised and wondered how he came up with this. Wasn't it obvious that he had no boyfriend?

"Um... no. I mean, you would have met him, I guess."

"Maybe. I just wanted to be sure."

* * *

Blaine's question was like a ghost, whispering in his ear at any time, even in his sleep. He and a boyfriend? That his father was worried sick about him was enough for Kurt and a boyfriend would only mean double drama for him. Even if he had a boyfriend would this guy still be with him? He knew that only his legs weren't moving anymore but everything else was fine. Yes, also his cock was perfectly fine. Still, who would want to have sex with him when he couldn't move his legs and Kurt was way to afraid to even try that.

He only needed to meet the wrong person and someone could take advantage of his handicap and do whatever with him. Not to forget that he was a virgin anyway. Funny how he thought exactly about that when they told him what was wrong with his legs. That he could never have sex and probably die as a virgin.

But there was Blaine, asking him if he had a boyfriend and Kurt wondered, almost wanted, that this meant something else. Something more. Why would a gay guy ask him if he was single or not if not because he was interested in him. Any other guy, yes. Blaine was not any other guy. He was complete out of this world, something beautiful Kurt wanted to call his.

He hated to think in that way, but, who would want that burden? Him in a wheelchair. He needed places that were wheelchair friendly, Blaine would need to help him into bed when he couldn't, or give him a cup because they were too high for him to reach. Who wanted such a boyfriend? And in less than a year Blaine was done with school and would go to New York or wherever and study. Kurt probably not. He was stuck in Lima. Fucking Lima which he hated so much.

And he hated when Blaine was not around him even more. The last time he had seen Blaine was when they went out for coffee and he asked if Kurt had a boyfriend, two weeks ago. All he could do was visiting the kids and explain to them why Blaine wouldn't come and attend his physical therapy. Carole and his father were too busy with work, but that was okay. They already asked who Blaine was and he was not ready to admit anything.

* * *

"Where is Claire?" asked Kurt when he entered the room for the kids and couldn't find her.

"We don't know. Her mommy was here today and cried a lot and then they left with Claire and the doctor."

He tried to stay calm and not show them the shock he just had felt. Asking how Claire's mother cried could cause exactly what he wanted to avoid. Make the children worried. So he smiled instead and began to draw with the kids. Clearly, they weren't in the mood to sing anything. But also not up for drawing something either. Their eyes went back to Claire's bed whenever they could and Kurt tried to distract them though wanting to know what happened. Was she okay? Was it a good cry or a bad cry? And when the kids asked him if she was alright he understood that you couldn't hide anything from a child. They knew more, so much more.

Just like he understood so much when he was just a kid. He hated it when the adults thought he didn't understand anything.

"Do you think she is okay?" asked one of the boys.

"I hope so," Kurt didn't want to lie. Saying that he thought she was okay would have been a lie.

An hour later, when he finally was able to distract the kids he rolled out of the room and straight to the nurses who smiled at him, he smiled back before he asked.

"Is Claire alright?"

He was not sure if they would tell him anything since he was not a family member and he understood if they said nothing. It was just that Claire got pretty close to him, her body too weak to do anything when they got outside ad so she sat on Kurt's lap, watching the others have fun just like he did.

The nurse smiled sweetly, nodding and Kurt's heart felt so much lighter. Maybe Claire would come back with good news. He hoped so, really. The kids didn't deserve what they had. They were still so young and there was so much to see.

He waited for Claire to come back, staying longer then necessary and at some point he ended up reading for the kids. Harry Potter of course because some of them couldn't read yet and wanted to hear that story. The first book was more child friendly – it began to get darker around the third book – so he read, some still listening, some already sleeping. At some point they all fell asleep and Kurt closed the book to take his phone instead.

No new text from Blaine. The last one he got was before his first final exam and he was probably too busy studying. They talked about the stuff they had to study at Dalton and compared to Kurt's school it was a lot more so he kept his patience and wanted to be the understanding friend.

Which didn't mean that he was not missing Blaine. Because he did, bad. Whenever he went back into his room he stared at the chair instead of watching TV and imagined Blaine sitting there, telling him about his mother and her restaurant. Or his brother who was a bit crazy but working hard to become an actor. He even missed the rambling about Wes and still trying to push more hours of practice into their schedule. But more over than that, he missed hearing Blaine's voice.

His voice was so calming and gentle, low and sometimes high when he got excited. It just found a way right into his whole being and made him calm. Kurt really missed that.

* * *

The next day he went back to the children's ward and found Claire, grinning from ear to ear as she stood next to the door, holding the hand of her mother. Or so it seemed to be because Kurt couldn't remember this woman working here. He rolled closer and hugged her hello when she stretched her arms out.

"You must be Kurt, right?" said the woman whit blond short hair and beautifully dressed. She didn't look like she was super rich or anything. She just looked nice and knew what to put on.

"That's right," he said and rubbed Claire's back.

"She told me a lot about you. Thank you for making her happy while she had a hard time."

Kurt blinked, taking the words in and than asked: "Had?"

Claire smirked at Kurt while her mother nodded, eyes glistening with tears but the smile told him everything. Those tears happened because something good happened and he smiled though he wasn't sure if he was right.

"Claire made it. The cancer has gone."

"Oh my God!" exclaimed Kurt and pulled her back into his arms, kissing her on the cheek and she made a disgusted sound. All he could do was giggle about that. She was okay, she won against the cancer and he was truly, really, happy for her.

"She'll stay here for a couple of days but for Christmas she'll be back home," said her mother and ran her hand over Claire's bald head.

"Can I go back inside, Mommy? Kurt will sing with us."

"Of course," her mother smiled and Kurt risked a closer look. This woman was beauitful and well dressed but he could see the lines of worries and stress she must have been through. It were the same lines his father wore since the accident. But slowly they disappeared and he was sure, in some week she was going to look alive again.

Claire cheered and went back into the room, Kurt smiling and turning back to her mother.

"I'm really grateful, Kurt. You and Blaine do a lot for the kids. Apparently laughing is the best medicine."

Kurt smiled at her and then she looked a bit serious.

"I hope you'll be okay too?"

"Oh," he breathed, looking down at his legs and shrugged but still smiling: "I will be. I just need some more time I guess."

The woman smiled and excused herself, going back to the nurses and he joined the kids in their room.

Later he texted Blaine and hoped that those news would cheer him up and help him to stay motivated. Because Kurt was. After getting to know that Claire was healthy and cancer free he found new strength. If this small girl, who always seemed so weak and sad won her fight than he could do the same. One day he would walk again and visit her just to play or run with her.

Feeling alive and motivated he texted Blaine the news.

* * *

It was his last day at the hospital and all the kids were already back home. And so the hospital became too quiet. Beside his therapy and visiting the cafeteria it was too quiet and his room seemed colder than ever since the snow was falling. After Lunch Kurt decided to go outside knowing the grounds of the hospital were safe and needed some fresh air. Maybe when he rolled and exhausted himself enough he would fall asleep pretty fast and wake up with his dad already ready to pick him up.

He pressed the button and moments later the nurse came inside, helping him getting dressed and into his wheelchair. He took the elevator, smiling at the Christmas decoration and greeted the people he saw and hoped it would lighten his mood. It did a little bit when he got a smile in return. The falling snowflakes were small, not enough to soak into his clothes too fast so that he was safe to spent at least an hour, maybe two outside.

He rolled to the playground which looked pretty covered in snow but lifeless without anyone playing there. Then he rolled through the small park, watched a dog enjoying the snow way too much and a couple laughing at the puppy. Maybe it was his first time meeting snow.

He rolled around and around and an hour later he was sitting next to a small Christmas house with hot chocolate and chocolate and many other Christmas stuff. He bought himself a cup with hot chocolate and drank it, while the woman inside the small house talked to someone about the gifts she bought for her wife. That made him think about the fact that he had no gifts for anyone. Which was not surprising at all considering that he couldn't leave the hospital and had no money for gifts. But he knew no one would blame him for this. So, next year, when he could walk again, he was going to buy twice as much gifts for his family.

Placing the cup safely between his legs he pulled his beanie further down so that it was covering his ears and his covered, but yet cold, fingers wrapped around the warm cup, ready to take another sip when he noticed someone running. Someone familiar, with adorable red cheeks and slightly breathless.

"Kurt!" called Blaine and Kurt smiled, wide and happy when he stood next to him, catching his breath. He looked too adorable with his curls sticking out from under his beanie.

"Hey."

"I'm sorry... I wanted to come earlier but I couldn't."  
"That's okay, you were busy."

Blaine nodded, smiling: "I was but I hoped I could see you before you'd leave."

His cheeks were already red from the cold so he was glad that his blush went unnoticed.

"I was in your room but you weren't there," he began to explain and ordered himself a hot chocolate, flashing a charming smile towards the woman but right after that all his attention was meant for Kurt. "And I thought you were already gone but they told me you went out so, I was looking for you."

He was rambling, talking just for the sake of it, or, to have something to do. For some reason his friend seemed to be excited and Kurt was almost sure that it was because of Claire. Blaine had texted him back, celebrating through a text like he had never seen before.

"No, I'm still here. My dad is going to pick me up tomorrow."

"Lucky me... I guess."

Okay something was definitely different, thought Kurt. Blaine was always kind of... straight forward but since he ahd asked him about this boyfriend thing, it almost seemed like... everything had changed. Only in which direction and if it was good for them? He was not so sure about that to be honest. Even a bit nervous and, of course, the worst thought crossed his mind.

What if Blaine had someone? What if something happened and they would not see each other again? Something along those lines crossed his mind but when he felt Blaine's hand taking his, just as gentle and warm as always he almost laughed about his thoughts.

Blaine was his friend, they exchanged numbers and, hopefully, they would stay friends, despite everything he felt for him. So he smiled back when his friend smiled, squeezing his hand and then letting got to pay for his paper cup of hot chocolate and paid for it.

"What about your exams? I hope you did good?"

"Well," Blaine said as he walked around Kurt, holding the handles and pushing the wheelchair back towards the hospital. "It was a lot to study and at some point I was sure my brain would leak out of my ears. Then I heard Wes' voice in my head, reminding me to do my best or I'll get more hours of practice. But I think I did good."

Kurt snorted.

"What about you? You said Claire won her battle against cancer?"

"She did," he said with a radiant smile: "The other kids are fine too but they are already home so... I was kind of lonely in the past days. Beside my therapy there wasn't really... much to do."

Actually, he never wanted to admit this to Blaine but he couldn't stop his mouth from talking when they were together. Sometimes he was almost sure that he said those adjectives – like adorable, handsome – out loud but apparently, he did not.

"Sorry to hear that," said his friend, voice filled with remorse.

"No, it's okay. I understand that you guys are busy."

They were back inside the hospital and taking the elevator to Kurt's room. Luckily because he was freezing though the warm clothes and the blanket around his legs. Inside he took his gloves, scarf, beanie and coat off, Blaine taking those things from him and hanging them up in the small closet.

The nurse – which followed them – helped Kurt back into his bed and he smiled when she left and Blaine was sitting on his chair again, smiling at Kurt.

"I have a lot of time today. My mom won't be back until later so, I can stay if you want me to."

"Well, you have to make up for all the hours you weren't here," joked Kurt, making Blaine laugh.

"Tell me about the time I wasn't here. Did the kids miss me?"

Kurt rolled his eyes because yes, they missed Blaine a lot and the singing was not the same without Blaine's guitar. He told him about the boys fighting over the guitar though neither of them could play. About Emma complaining about Bobby – who came back for some days. And eventually about Claire and her mom and how happy he was for her. The part how this opened his own eyes and seriously try to walk again, he left that out. It was something only for him and he needed this only for himself. Blaine, like his father were supporting him on a different level he was also grateful for.

While talking Blaine rested his head on the mattress, close to Kurt's hand and smiled, humming to signal Kurt that he was listening. However, there was not much to tell and when he stopped talking a comfortable silence filled the room – but his fingers ached to reach out and touch Blaine's curls, free from gel that day. Then Blaine asked and basically made Kurt stop breathing for a second or two.

"Did you miss me?"

Trying to stay calm and to not give much away he said a simple: "Yes, of course." Because, sometimes, Blaine just opened all these feelings up he tried to hide so bad. One word, one glance and it all came back. Warm, beautiful feelings he wanted to express through words or actions but was too scared to be rejected. The resons were clear, he was no exactly a boyfriend material with his legs not wanting to move. Not yet, maybe one day and maybe it wouldn't even be Blaine but someone else.

Just because he was falling in love with this boy didn't mean that the same happened to him. That was nothing that had ever happened to Kurt. Whoever he liked, had a crush on never felt the same way back. What he felt for Blaine was more, bigger and would hurt even more when he got rejected.

"I missed your voice," said his friend and Kurt felt his fingers before he saw them. They wrapped gently around his hand, holding them warm and safe and the thumb, caressing over his skin... he stopped breathing, again. Licking his lips he moved his eyes back to Blaine's face, meeting the gold and the silence was almost too much to handle.

"Can I kiss you?"

Kurt nodded, his heart screaming – yes! Of course! - but his mind was no longer working. There he sat, Kurt Hummel, 17 years old and watching this handsome, beautiful boy slowly sitting up and moving closer, painfully slow. His own body moved towards Blaine, wanting to feel those lips on his and when they met, eyes closed he inhaled sharply.

Never had he kissed someone before. Never had he met someone who wanted to kiss him or even asked him if it was okay. There he was feeling all the sparks and explosions inside him happening but beyond that all his senses were focused on Blaine. On the hand holding his, the lips warm, soft, even sweet from the chocolate pressing on his own. A kiss that said all the things even Blaine kept from him. So much, almost too much so he took a hold of Blaine's arm with his free hand and felt the other holding his face gently.

His first kiss and Kurt thought that it was perfect.

What felt like eternity was only some seconds long and then Blaine pulled back, giving them the room to breath but stood close, foreheads touching. Kurt could hear him breath, even figure that he was smiling.

"Blaine," he spoke but his mouth was so dry that he needed a moment. "What..."

"I really like you, Kurt. Really. And... I just want to be with you."

The grip around Blaine's biceps became tighter while he felt dizzy with everything he felt and everything Blaine said.

"And I really don't care if you can't walk or have only one leg."

At any other moment Kurt would have rolled his eyes but instead he couldn't stop the small laugh. At any other moment, with any other person Kurt would have big doubts about the honesty. But this was Blaine, his friend who had been honest and open to him from the start. Maybe, and he hoped that, this was his time to finally find something, someone special and have this person in this special way. Maybe, it really didn't matter that he couldn't walk. Love, people said, was stronger than anything but this between them. That was no love, not yet.

"I... I need you to be sure. I'm not-"

"I am sure," answered Blaine and his voice was steady, convinced and his hand around Kurt's held him a bit tighter. Slowly he pulled back and rested his head against Blaine's shoulder, feeling the right hand letting go of his own and slung around his shoulders, carefully and gentle, like Blaine was not sure if he was allowed to do that. That's why Kurt melted into the embrace, letting him know that it was more than okay.

"I know that... I understand your situation. I really do and I'm sure there will be times when things will be hard. But I really, really want to be with you and stand beside you through everything."

This all was too good to be true. Everything, the kiss, the words. Only because Blaine was here, close and warm and holding him safe, pressing his lips against Kurt's forehead he believed him. He dared to believe him because this boy never gave him a reason not to. Not in the past almost four months they knew each other.

Kurt sighed, trying not to doubt, even waiting for the moment to wake up from this nice dream. Though, when Blaine pulled back again, both of his hands holding Kurt's face gently so they were looking at each other he listened again, watching Blaine's eyes as he spoke.

"I mean it, really. You may think I'm not certain about this because you can't walk. But I am. I really am. It's something... I feel since we met, deep down and I tried to ignore it but, I can't."

"Me too," spoke Kurt before his heart would explode or stop. He needed Blaine to know this too. "I felt something... the moment we met and it just... grew bigger. But I thought it would never... you know."

This feeling, when he saw Blaine's smile and his eyes shining even more and the golden color looking like liquid, he knew his words and feelings found a place in this heart. Finally. His hand let go of Kurt's face and he wanted them back but understood why Blaine did that.

All Kurt could do was moving his upper body. Running away was not possible and defending himself neither. The boy in front of him understood that and wanted Kurt to feel safe and know that he would never force him to anything. Like any other time when they were together. Yes, he understood Kurt's situation, better than Kurt thought.

"Can I... kiss you again?"

"Yes," Kurt laughed, giddy with happiness and smiled into the next kiss.


	6. Chapter 6

Hey guys! Welcom to part 6. So, actually this part was much longer but I needed to stop right there. The thing is, while I was making some research I read an article about a woman who also ended up in a wheelchair by a rare spinal disorder. And it was really inspiring for this fic which should only have been like 7-8 parts long. And I need to re-plan some stuff. But I really want to know what u guys think

Okay so I'll post that kind of spoiler at the end notes. :) Now let's start with part 6.

* * *

Part 6

It was Christmas and Kurt was back home for two weeks. Which was good but he really missed his time with everyone at the hospital. Especially his time with Blaine. "So, who is this Blaine guy?" asked his father when they were eating diner together. Carole smiling at Kurt and giving him those a lot saying looks. Well, Carole knew about him and his visits at the children's ward and she also knew about him and Blaine spending time together.

But he didn't tell anyone that they were boyfriends. Not yet. The evening before he went home and Blaine kissed him ended with them holding hands, watching something and sharing more sweet kisses before Blaine had to go. It was only three days but he already missed him terribly. Missed his lips and his warm hand. He missed his voice though he had been talking to him yesterday evening.

"He is a friend," Kurt half lied. "He sings with the children in the children's ward and that's where we met."

"Uh huh," hummed Burt and his own food was no longer interesting to him. "And he is just a friend?"

Kurt tried to stay calm and not give his father any impression that there was more. But he knew it was not that easy because his father knew him. After all he was the one knowing Kurt was gay before he even came out to him.

"I like him, yeah. But we are just friends."

He didn't want their relationship to be a secret but he was sure, as soon as his father knew what they really were he was going to visit him more often and make sure Blaine knew what he got himself into. Even if Kurt explained that he really enjoyed and even needed the time alone with Blaine, his father would do anything so his boy didn't get hurt. Kurt didn't want to get hurt either but he, though it was even crazy to him still, trusted Blaine.

"Okay," his father dropped the topic Blaine: "What about your therapy?"

"Nothing new. I try and try but there is still no difference."

What was weird at the beginning, literally not feeling his lower body, became normal at some point. Actually his legs felt more like a burden to him because he couldn't do much. Climbing out of his chair was exhausting, climbing into it because of the weight... but Jimmy was so optimistic about him walking again and Claire cancer free that Kurt didn't even go there in his mind. The place where everything was dark and cold.

"But I'm convinced that things will change soon."

His words brought silence, one that literally filled the room and was almost touchable. His father stared at him, Carole smiled and he shrugged, eating not even hiding his small smile.

After Dinner and some TV Burt helped Kurt into his bed and wished his son a good night. Alone he took his phone and read the text Blaine had sent him.

_Blaine: Merry Christmas!_

_Blaine: My mom asked me why I'm so happy. She gets suspicious I guess._

_Blaine: I really want to come over and see you._

_Blaine: I miss your voice..._

_Blaine: sorry... I'm kind of clingy..._

Kurt smiled over the last words he had read and sighed. He wished the same, Blaine being in his room and just be together. Maybe talk, maybe watch something or just kiss. He was okay with anything as long as this boy was close to him and made him feel this happiness, which made him almost cry.

When something happened in a persons life that changed everything, sometimes people think about the weirdest things ever. Not really weird, but weird for the situation they are in. After his accident he thought about really unimportant things. Like, that he would never find someone who wanted to be his boyfriend, that he could never get his first kiss because of his handicap. That he couldn't kick anyone anymore or wear his favorite boots and show them off.

The fact that he couldn't walk, that he was glued to a wheelchair was not his first concern. It came later.

_Kurt: I miss you too so that makes us both clingy?_

_Blaine: You are back! And yes, I like us both clingy. It makes me feel less than a creep._

Kurt snorted.

_Kurt: You aren't creepy. You were pretty handsome the last time I saw you._

A blush crawled over his cheeks and he bit is lip when he read Blaine's answer.

_Blaine: And you are very beautiful. :)_

It felt so good to be called beautiful. It felt good to have someone who wanted to be with him, who would kiss him and make him smile in this special way. Who accepted Kurt's life and his current situation. At least for now because Kurt kept in mind that things could get frustrating. Now Blaine was okay with him but maybe in some weeks, months he wouldn't be anymore. Not because of who he was but more because of what they couldn't do because he was in a wheelchair.

Though, when he thought about it, Artie had it pretty damn well. He had girlfriends, fun and everything. Maybe, Kurt hoped that, he would be lucky too even if he never would walk again.

_Kurt: I really want to see you._

And he really wanted to see him. Everything inside him ached for Blaine. This was his first boyfriend, who could blame him for wanting to spent as much time as possible with him? No one and he didn't even care. All his friends went through this, got the chance to be with someone and now it was his time. He wanted the walks, the small talk, shy smiles and giggles. He wanted to hold Blaine's hand and kiss him some more.

_Blaine: Well, we can go for a walk tomorrow evening? I'm busy with visiting family during the day but I'll be back around 7pm?_

Before he could text back there was a new message.

_Blaine: What about your dad? Will he be okay if I pick you up?_

_Kurt: I think so. You make me happy and he wants me to be happy after everything._

_Blaine: I want to make you happy._

Though it was just a text he almost heard Blaine saying it. Warm, gentle and giving him this warm look. He wished to not just imagine it but to actually see it, hear him saying it right next to him. A happy sigh fell from his lips and his eyes fell close, letting this warm feeling fill his body for a moment.

_Kurt: You do._

He heard a knock against his door and said it was okay to come inside. His father appeared behind the door and held a letter in his hand, his expression almost sad. But just almost.

"I've got something for you," he said and walked over to Kurt's bed, sitting down and keeping the letter in his hands to explain more. Kurt already knew what this letter was about.

"I didn't want to show you the letter and get you even more frustrated. But I see that you are doing much better and I'm sorry that I kept this from you."

He handed Kurt the letter and there was the unmistakable logo of NYADA. He unfolded it and began to read the message he hoped to get before his accident. That he got in, and he did. Only the tiniest of smiles was on his lips and the feeling of success and certainty that he was good. Good enough to get into NYADA.

"I called them and explained what happened. They were sorry and wished the best for you and to get better. I even tried to convince them to keep the spot for you, but they began to talk about how no one knew when you would-"

"It's okay, dad. Really."

His father looked anything but okay while Kurt didn't feel sad. Not really. Alone knowing that he got in and that he could have studied there was a big deal for him. Another reason to keep on trying and get back into his old, no, into a better shape.

"I just audition again. Or study fashion design. No big deal," he said and watched his father smile a little bit.

* * *

Kurt was excited and even more when he heard the doorbell. He rolled out of the living room to the hallway, his father right behind him and eyes awake and waiting. Opening the door he smiled at Blaine who stood there, being this handsome young man and taking Kurt's breath away with his soft smile and warm eyes. All he wanted was to stand up and kiss him hello or Blaine to bend down and kiss him, but knew today was not the day.

He was just happy to see him and felt really excited about the fact that a boy who liked him, who wanted to kiss him, and was his boyfriend stood in his doorway. It was weird but also heartwarming.

"Hello Kurt," said Blaine, Kurt making him room to get inside. His boyfriend looked up when he noticed Kurt's dad standing behind him. "Hello Mister Hummel and merry Christmas. My name is Blaine Anderson." They shook hands and Kurt watched his father, closely.

"Nice to meet you, Blaine. And thanks for being a good friend to Kurt."

Blaine flashed him a smile, turned around to see Kurt putting on his scarf and beanie. Burt helped him into his coat and handed him the blanket so Kurt could wrap it around his legs. He just hoped that they weren't too obvious through their eyes and smiles.

"I promise to bring him back safe and sound."

Burt grunted his okay and Kurt already spun around to face the door so ready to leave this house and be alone with Blaine.

"See you later, dad."

Blaine followed him, closed the door and took the handles of Kurt's wheelchair to push him forward. He ached to reach out for Blaine's hand but he couldn't hold it and take control over his wheelchair with the other. Blaine couldn't do that either. The cons of sitting in a wheelchair, he thought.

"What do you say about some tea, coffee or hot chocolate and then we'll find a place less crowded?" asked his boyfriend.

"Tea sounds perfect."

It was weird to spent his time with Blaine outside of the hospital. Weird to let a person help him. Beside all the weirdness Kurt felt happy. Truly happy and he didn't stop smiling for one second. Everything about Blaine was just... god. Perfect almost. How he let Kurt do whatever he was able to do and not treating him like he was some small kid not knowing anything.

And Kurt let Blaine help him whenever needed. It was just so easy with him that his smile never left his face. After buying two cups of tea they went a bit outside of the city, looking for a less crowded place. This was still Ohio and there were still people not approving in their relationship. No, they were not running away only not up for any kind of conflict. Luckily it was the second day of Christmas so there weren't much people walking around and both found a nice place between trees and bushes. There was a bench for Blaine to sit on but he did not that right after they stopped. Instead his boyfriend was in front of him, smiling and squatted down to be on eye-level with Kurt.

"Hey you," said Blaine and his hand wrapped gently around Kurt's.

"Hey yourself."

Then Blaine smiled, eyes wide and shining though it was getting darker and darker.

"Can I get a kiss? I really missed kissing you."

With a smile so wide that his eyes became small, Kurt took Blaine's face into his hands and pulled him closer, wanting to show him that he missed this too and that he was okay with kissing Blaine. The carefulness and gentleness from Blaine whenever he came close was telling Kurt a lot. This boy would never just kiss him without Kurt's permission because he could only do so much with his arms and hands. This boy would never get too close without his permission. Blaine would probably do nothing without Kurt's permission and it should be alarming that someone tried that, but it was not. He trusted Blaine without a doubt. And he had misses kissing the warm soft lips from Blaine. He even hummed when his boyfriend sucked on his upper lip but eventually pulled back, smiling like the sun.

"I have some cake, cheesecake actually. My mom baked it today."

"I love cheesecake," breathed Kurt, cheeks red and warming his face.

"I know," he whispered and kissed Kurt again before pulling back entirely and opened his bag. He pulled out a plastic box, two forks and also a blanket. Kurt took the two boxes from him, watched his boyfriend wiping the surface free from snow and placed the blanket on it. While he watched him doing that he felt the need to stand up and help him. Stand up and sit with him on this bench and eat the cake together. Shoulder against shoulder, sharing the heart of their body while it was cold and everything covered in snow. Kurt just wanted what any other couple could do.

"Can I... sit next to you?"

Blaine turned back to Kurt with raised eyebrows and needed a second to understand. Then his smile returned followed by a nod and he took the plastic box from Kurt who lifted his arms and let Blaine help him out of his wheelchair. Only then, when his arms were tightly around Blaine's neck, feeling his chest against his own did Kurt realize that this was their first real hug. One when he almost stood on his feet but not really. Still, Blaine squeezed him tight making him giggle – well Blaine had a talent for making him giggle and smile – probably as happy that they could hug like this for a moment. Carefully Blaine let him down on the bench, handing Kurt the blanket for his legs.

"Good?"

"Yeah, I'm fine," said Kurt and reached out for the box, opening it to find two slice of cheesecake and two forks. Blaine sat down next to him, holding their cups and giving Kurt his as the box was safe on his lap and both began to eat.

"This is really good," he hummed after he swallowed the first bite: "Your mother likes to bake stuff?"

"No," Blaine laughed: "She likes to bake cheesecake because that's the only thing she actually can bake. It's always a drama on my birthday. She tries but fails and ends up buying a cake. But she is an incredible cook when it's not about baking something."

"I like baking stuff. I'm pretty good at it."

"Really?"

"Yup. Well, no one ever complained and they all love what I bake."

"They?" asked Blaine, ate the last piece of his cheesecake and turned his body so his right side was leaning against the bench and his arm hanging between their bodies.

"My family and friends," answered Kurt and ate his last bite too before giving Blaine the empty plastic box back – who put it back into his bag. Taking a sip from his tea to warm himself up he looked at Blaine who said.

"I've never seen your friends at the hospital. I mean," his fingers were running patterns over Kurt's shoulder, making him feel warm and fuzzy inside: "I can be wrong."

"They are no longer here. They've all graduated and left Lima and follow their dreams. I... avoided them because it hurt too much," he risked a look at Blaine because what he admitted was one of his darkest thoughts. He was not only hurt but also jealous.

"Of course it does. But you will get there eventually. You just need time," said his boyfriend and reached out for Kurt's hand, holding it gently.

"Yeah, I just don't know how much. And I don't want to start studying when I'm old and gray."

"Who says that?" smiled Blaine: "You can always go to New York and do what you love. You just do it in a different way."

Kurt smiled, eyes focused on the cup in his right hand. That side of Blaine, the optimistic side, was a side he liked. Never did his voice sound like he wasn't believing in his own words. Quiet the contrary, it always sounded like he believed in his words. In himself and in Kurt.

"Maybe," he said because it seemed so far away. He promised himself to work hard, to do his best just like Claire did. But dreaming now was too soon because his therapy was not working yet.

"We can go together," said Blaine and Kurt looked back at him, surprised.

"Together to New York?"

"Yeah. I mean I want to go to New York too and study there, so why not together? I mean, I know we just got together but... I have a feeling like we'll be together for a long time."

Whenever this young man spoke and talked about dreams and chasing them, living them, Kurt thought this boy was a dream himself. Positive, supporting and not even thinking about the issue his wheelchair, his handicap could be. However, he knew they both had no idea what kind of an issue this could turn out to be. And who knew if they would be together till that moment?

Kurt certainly hoped so because, just like Blaine, he also had this strange feeling that this was more. Or maybe it was just his mind, drunk with so much he felt for this boy.

"You don't have to stay here. You can always go somewhere else and do your physical therapy there. And I'll be with you so your dad doesn't have to be worried."

Kurt just smiled at him and leaned closer, resting his head on Blaine's shoulder and smiled more when he felt Blaine's lips on his temple, right under his beanie, and his arm around his shoulder. This was nice, how Blaine accepted his silence and let him stay close. How they both wanted this and could do this without anyone giving them strange looks. Honestly, Kurt just wanted to enjoy this moment, this evening and worry about his future when he got back into the hospital.

"Sorry if I... crossed a line."

"You didn't."

He really did not. If Blaine did anything then giving Kurt hope and a new view on his future. But he was no fool to believe in all of this for a 100%. But he was also no fool and knew his silence worried Blaine. So he pulled back, slowly and smiled when their eyes met before he pressed a gentle kiss on Blaine's lips.

* * *

Okay so here is the kind of SPOILER: My original plan was and still is that Kurt would be okay before they go to New York. Now, after reading that article I like the idea to stretch everything and see how they handle everything in New York.

What do you guys think?


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